Here is January’s Play list!

Phoenix – Lisztomania
The Pixies – Levitate Me
Plants and Animals – Bye Bye Bye
PrufRock – The Game
Radiohead – 15 Step
Readnex – Calles
The Replacements – Nightclub Jitters
RJD2 – Let There Be Horns
Robyn Hitchcock – The Philosopher’s Stone
Rodriguez – Sugar Man
Santogold – L.E.S. Artistes
The Shins – Phantom Limb
Pavement – Gold Soundz
Peter, Bjorn and John – Teen Love
Prince – Uptown
Rae Spoon – Off the Grid, Underground
River City Extension – Elephant
Sebadoh – Skull
The Semi Colon – Nekwaha Semi Colon
Spoon – The Underdog
Sugar Minott – Ghetto-ology
The Tallest Man in the World – Love Is All
Teenage Fanclub – Cells
They Might Be Giants – With the Dark
Tokyo Police Club – The Harrowing Adventures Of…
Tom Waits – Knife Chase
Tori Amos – Caught A Lite Sneeze
Two Door Cinema Club – I Can Talk
The UnSettlers – Heavey Handed
Vampire Weekend – Cousins
Van Morrison – Sweet Thing
Terry Hall & Salad – Dream A Little Dream
The Go! Team – Phantom Broadcast
The Vaselines – Jesus Wants Me For a Sunbeam
C.R. Avery – Bigger Fish To Fry
Dan Satch – Alabeke
Dave Brubeck Quartet – Pick Up Sticks
David Byrne – Don’t Fence Me In
David Wilcox – Cheap Beer Joint
Dele Ojo – Ojo Omoba
Desmond & the Tutus – Pictures
Dr. Dog – 100 Years

See you in February!

Obviously by that date this poem is not new – but it is ‘newly released into the wild’.

I wrote this simply because I like comics and I let the poem itself dicate the way it was going to go. It ended up being up self-perception and the idea of persona.

I debuted in (reading) at my Urban Legends feature in September. The audience gave good feedback (espacially PrufRock). I slammed it (memorized) for the first thime this weekend, Friday in Perth and Saturday at CapSlam. The judges were less kind.

In fact, it is my third worst performing poem at slams of all time, ahead of only A Van Full of Poets and Air.

Four-Colour World

I used to live in a four-colour world.
Capes and spandex,
Newsprint and plastic
Bags to protect them from
The more insidious threats
Than Baron Zemo and Doctor Doom.
Comic books which were
As escapist as Harry Potter,
Harlequin Romance or the New Testament,
Tantamount to finding a
New life Through the Looking Glass,
Over the Rainbow or in a
Bustling Urban Metropolis.
It was all ‘Excuse me miss,
Did you drop this?’ or
‘Watch out for that falling
Piano!’
In a desperate desire
To be a hero
Instead of a zero
Because in the fantasy world,
Just like ours,
There is no middle ground.
You are the leading man
Or just part of the scenery,
Fading into the greenery
If you are lucky.
Victimized object lesson
If you aren’t.
But it isn’t the spotlights
Or coloured tights.
I wasn’t looking to
Outrace locomotives
Or benchpress buicks
Or stun the world with
The UNBRIDLED POWER OF
MY MIND –
As impressive as it is.

No, where comics really
Appealed to me
Was the power of the secret id.
A whole identity you can pull on
And shrug off with no one
None the wiser.
Pull on personalities like
Old trousers,
Play marginal personality
Roulette
To decide which of your
Quirks gets to
Come out and play.
It is a Post Secret for the
Post-traumatic generation.
Over-share as outerwear
And roleplay therapy
That’s consequence free,
Mask firmly in place
So you can’t tell it’s me
And I can let you know
How I really feel…
But how can I even know
That it’s real?
If that Spider-Mask
Covers the public me
That is only a mask too, you see
Made from emotional Kevlar
Pretending to be invulnerable
Though paper thin,
Hiding the next me
That only few see,
A layer of lowered
Tangibility
To brush off what penetrates
Before it reaches level three…
Or is that four?
I’m not sure I remember any more
As this walking inception
Is always one layer deeper
And pulling off a costumed
Hood and mask
Only reveals another.
So, do you want to know me?
I am what you see,
As long as you have X-ray specs
Or a third eye on overdrive,
Searching for level five
Or is it six, or maybe more –
What are you so intent
On looking for?
Tearing the so-called hero down
Until mild and mannered
Become equivalent to
Faceless and nameless,
Protected and blameless,
Outwardly almost famous,
But mask firmly in place,
Spider-senses tingling,
And it is time to go
Save the world,
And maybe, if I am feeling really brave,
Or maybe cocky,
I will pull up the mask
And give you a little peek
At all the scars hidden underneath
And together we can
Redefine the word hero.

I ended up staying home from work. As it is I only got aobut 3-4 hours of sleep.

Early Friday afternoon Brad Morden contacted me and asked if I was going out to Perth that night for the Lanark Slam that evening. I wasn’t but Johnny MacRae was in town and he could use a lift. We decided that we would make a trip of it with Ruthanne and Brad also coming.

The LiPS slam out in Lanark County is always fun. It is a VERY different feel from the slams in town. Brad nad I both decided to slam! (Ottawa poets are welcome to slam in Lanark but our scores do not count towards their season to ensure a Lanark County Team rather than an Ottawa offshoot team. Good idea, in my opinion. I think more communities should do that…)

The judging that night was… different than what I am used to. All five judges were new to slam (I later learned) and they didn’t seem to really like ‘slam-style’ pieces… except when they did. It was postulated that they seemed to like things with a very clear and direct message.

I did my new piece ‘Four-Colour World’ and did fairly poorly. Brad also did much less than expected.

In the second round I did a toned-down version of FN and that went over a lot better. I ended up in second, I believe.

On Saturday it was Capital Slam, and I slammed, as planned, doing those same two pieces.

I drew the bullet and had to slam first. That is not a good spot and when I did ‘Four-Colour World’ I got a good reaction from the crowd but less love from the judges. I thought it was even worse because the score was initially misreported as 25.2 (instead of 26.2) and I didn’t notice the change. I was followed by a fairly new poet and four BRAND new pots who all (I thought) outscored me. By the end I thought I was in 11th. Turns out I was in 6th.

One of those new poets DID outscore me but she (Zorah Bryant) had to leave at the break so she was dropped from the second round, sliding me in. Now there was a gap to large to make up, but I was just happy to get to do my second piece. FN went over a LOT better, and I closed the gap quite a bit… but still ended in 5th. That’s all good.

I am now tied in 5th in the seson rankings with Colleen Leafloor and Mia Morgan (who won on Saturday). The top 4 are Loh El, Just Jamaal, ArRay-of-WoRds and V.

Next up is the Ottawa Women’s Slam Championship on Saturday… but first I need to try to get through this week without feeling like a zombie.

Calm blue ocean. Calm blue ocean.

I mean it.

Do it.

“““““““
Every day I take two buses to work and two buses home, and nearly every trip I am amazed by the number of flagrant violations of basic bus etiquette. Most of these violations seem to fall under the “I am a special butterfly” clause that tells people that certain societal mores (using the bus as society-in-microcosm) do not apply to them, but they would quickly condemn others for the same actions that they display.

So, as a public service (since I am nothing if not a giving, generous person), I will provide some basic bus etiquette rules for everyone to use as a guideline when asking themselves, “Am I a bus-hole?”

First we will cover off some basic rules that most people follow (though, as always, there are exceptions). Even if they ‘go without saying’, we still need to say them as groundwork for the more advanced topics later on.

RULE #1: Try not to touch anyone.

Now, this may sound a little extreme, but the reason it isn’t is the word ‘try’. You are not actually expected to never touch anyone on the bus, but keeping this simple rule in mind will stop you from over-crowding, pushing, or hitting people with your oversized purse or bag.

RULE #2: Whether using the regular two-person, forward facing seats or the sideways bench-style seats, do not sit next to someone you do not know unless there are no seats that will allow not doing so.

Personal space will be at a premium once the bus starts filling up, but there is no need to violate it until absolutely necessary.

RULE #3: There are no exceptions, barring physical limitations.

Remember that “I am a special butterfly” clause that I mentioned in the intro? There is no such clause. You are not special. These rules apply to everyone. (With the caveat that all these rules assume that you are able bodied and do not need special assistance. We will touch on the courtesy seats a little later, but otherwise I am assuming that you are physically able to follow these rules as presented.)

Now I will get into the more comprehensive bus etiquette rules. If these ones seem obvious to you, congratulations, you might not be a bus-hole.

FRONT COURTESY SEATS

RULE #4: The courtesy seats shouldn’t be used until the bus starts to fill up, unless you are one of the people the courtesy seats are there for.

It amazes me the number of people who get on the bus, don’t give the rest of the vehicle a second glance, and plop themselves down in the courtesy seats, when there are plenty of other empty seats to choose from. You should never forget why those seats are there. Saying “oh, I will move if I need to” is not really a good answer because most people don’t. The next answer usually is “I’ll move if someone asks me”. This is also unacceptable because you are putting people with enough other things to worry about in the position of having to point out their own infirmity. That just sucks. Don’t sit there until all the two-person seats have at least one person in them.

RULE #5: If you are in one of the courtesy seats and someone gets on who needs the seat more than you, get up and move.

This is a really simple rule and one that any decent human being follows already. If you are in one of those seats and someone gets who is elderly, or pregnant, or has some sort of physical handicap of any type etc. MOVE. Don’t look around and wait for someone else to move. Don’t sit until someone asks you to move. Don’t pretend to be asleep or too engrossed in the latest Danielle Steele novel. Just move. Not moving is probably the biggest bus-hole violation you could make.

RULE #6: If you have a stroller, try to keep it out of the way.

This one is tough, because there is only so much you can do, but if you get on the bus with a stroller, do whatever you can to make sure that stroller doesn’t block the aisle. Nothing else much to say here… just do your best.

FORWARD FACING TWO-PERSON SEATS

Obviously some of these sorts of rules don’t apply if you are on a bus that is mostly empty, but if you are to the point where half of the regular seats have at least one person in them, you need to follow all of these.

RULE #7: Do not sit by yourself in an aisle seat.

If you are fortunate enough to get on the bus when there are still completely empty seats, do not take one of those empty seats and sit on the aisle. You aren’t fooling anybody. You are doing it so that as the bus fills up, you will be one of the last people to have to share a seat. It is just rude and a violation of RULE # 3. The only way for anyone else to sit down on the seat will be to ask you to move, which nobody should be expected to do. Just sit by the window like everybody else.

RULE #8: Do not put your purse/bag/knapsack/whatever on the seat next to you.

This is basically the same violation as RULE # 7. Just don’t do it. Put it in your lap.

SIDEWAYS BENCH SEATS (AND BACK BENCH SEATS)

RULE #9: Just because you can see the seat, doesn’t mean you should sit in it.

This one is a bit tough because the bus manufacturers for the last couple of decades have installed ‘helpful’ little cushions that assign space for each person. That leads you to think that if a bench has four of those little cushions that four people can sit there. The problem is that not everyone is the same size. When you see a space on a bench between two people (or between a person and a seat back, a person and a post, etc.) look and see if your shoulders will fit in that space. If it is too narrow, do not sit down. Remember RULE # 1.

RULE #10: Try to leave as much space as you can when you sit down.

This is the corollary to RULE # 9. Don’t try to take up more space to stop someone from sitting down. We’re all in this together. Let’s try to get along.

STANDING

RULE #11: Move to the back.

Considering how many times you hear those words if you are a regular bus-rider, it is amazing that we even have to say it. It doesn’t mean move back if more people are getting on and it might get crowded. It means to move back. Now. If you are standing and there is room between you and the back of the bus, occupy it. Move back.

RULE #11A: (On articulated buses) Move away from the doors.

This is the version of RULE # 11 used if you are on a bus that allows back loading. You don’t have to move back per se. Instead you have to move away from the doors to allow people access on and off. This is one of those rules that seems like such common sense but is ignored constantly.

RULE #11B: Do not stop in the aisle to talk to a seated friend.

Remember RULE # 11? (How could you have forgotten it?) If you find yourself in a situation where you get on a bus with a friend and there is one seat open and they take it, or you get on a bus and happen to run into a friend who is seated and you have to stand, DO NOT stand in the aisle to talk to them and expect people to push past you to move to the back of the bus. Look at RULE # 3 again. There are no exceptions. If they really cared about talking to you they would stand up and move to the back of the bus with you.

RULE #11C: The doorway is not your personal nook.

Still with RULE #11, if you are in the process of moving back and reach the back doors (assuming that the bus you are on is not one of those buses where the door is at the VERY back), DO NOT stop and step into the doorway thinking you are “out of the way”. Keep moving to the back. By stopping in the doorway, rather than being in the way of the people moving back, you are now in the way of anyone who plans to get off the bus at any time. In other words, everyone. Just don’t do it. Move back. (This also goes for any other little crannies, like the buses that have a spot behind the driver.)

RULE #12: When someone needs to get past you, move.

When you are standing there will likely be many times when people have to squeeze past you to get off the bus. Yes, it sucks and yes, it is an unavoidable clash with RULE # 1, but there is no avoiding it. When it happens and someone has to get past you, just move. Don’t whine or give a dirty look. Don’t move two inches when the person trying to get past is built like a linebacker. Just move.

GENERAL BUS ETIQUETTE

RULE #13: You don’t have a ‘right’ to read a newspaper.

Feel free to read a newspaper, but when it gets crowded, that newspaper may be crowding your neighbours. When that happens, fold it up and put it away. If you are standing, you just don’t get to read. Get over it.

RULE #14: If you are going to have a conversation with someone on the bus, keep your voice down.

This is pretty self-explanatory.

RULE #15: If you are talking on a cell phone, see RULE # 14.

Better yet, text.

Are there more rules? Assuredly, but this is what pops to mind just now. Remember, these rules aren’t here because I am being a crotchety old bastard, they are guidelines that can make a somewhat unpleasant experience that much better. Follow them and everybody is better off.

Miles Davis – Blues for Pablo
The New Mastersounds – Give Me A Minute Part 2
The New Pornographers – Letter From An Occupant
Nick Drake – Fruit Tree
Northern Portrait – Life Returns To Normal
Opotopo – Belema
Big Star – Back of a Car
Billy Bragg – Accident Waiting to Happen
Bobby McFerrin – Mere Words
Buddy Guy – One Room Country Shack
The Butternuts – The Great Escape
C.R. Avery & the Boomchasers – Redeeming Feature
The Charlatans UK – Flower
The Clash – Train in Vain (Stand By Me)
Dan Mangan – Some People
Darkstar – Dear Heartbeat
David Bowie – Helden
The Delgados – Knowing When To Run
Desmond + the Tutus – High Fives
Dinosaur Jr. – I Got Lost
Dr. Dog – Worst Trip
Edward Sharpe + the Magnetic Zeroes – Come In Please
Feral BLiss – Can’t Shake My Dreams
Florence + the Machine – Swimming
Foreign Born – See Us Home
The National – Conversation 16
Neutral Milk Hotel – The King of Carrot Flowers Pt. 1
The New Mastersounds – 102%
The New Pornographers – Electric Version
Nick Drake – Cello Song
Nouvelle Vague – Love Will Tear Us Apart
Pas/Cal – The Truth Behind All the Vogues She Sold

Total Views (all-time) – 9,156
Most Views in one day (Nov. 9th, 2011) – 1,520

Nearly 17% of my views ALL TIME came in one day. That would be fine if the blog had only existed for a week, rather than the two years I have been running.

Results for the Year

Referrers

The top 3 are Facebook, Google and Twitter. From a more specific source, my top referrer for the year was Nadine Thornhill’s blog!

Search Terms

The most common search term that found this blog was (duh) “Rusty Priske”. Past that, the most common search term that found this blog was “Nathanael Larochette”, my former partner in arms over at the Capital Poetry Collective.

I am glad it wasn’t the search term that FELT like kept hitting me all year. Variations on rape and comics. More on that later.

TOP POST

The most read post on the blog this year was Rape and Comics. This was a big deal for me… something that bothered me a lot that turned into a hatefest. Thankfully there were some (few) people who rose up in my defense, but overall it was pretty sucktastic. It also led to the creation of my new blog, Rusty’s World. Unfortunately it also taught me how many people out there are putting those two terms into search engiines every single day.

I despair for humanity.

That post garnered 1,460 hits. Second was Oversensitive Idiot (same topic) with 208.

The most hits for a post that includes actual poetry was Tricks (with 124)… but that was still related to ‘controversy’. I was accused of being overly critical of the sex-industry. Way to not actually read the poem, folks!

That post was actually FROM 2010 (though the bulk of the hits came this summer). The post FROM 2011 that was both poetry related and got the most hits was The Company Store… a poem I have never actually performed!

CLICKS

The most clicks away from this blog went to my new book, Rusty Priske: Trapeze Artist!

COMMENTS

The most active commenter on the site (all time) is Nadine Thornhill! Thanks Nadine!

Even though the BIG things on this blog this year were naegative, it was still a mostly positive year. Here is looking forward to 2012!

You bold everything you HAVE done.

■Graduated high school.
■Kissed someone.
■Smoked a cigarette.
■Gotten so drunk you passed out.
■Rode every ride at an amusement park.
■Gone to a rock concert.
■Helped someone.
■Gone fishing.
■Watched four movies in one night.
■Gone long periods of time without sleep.
■Snorted cocaine.
■Failed a class.
■Dealt drugs.
■Been in a car accident.
■Been in a tornado.
■Smoked weed.
■Done hard drugs (i.e. ecstasy, heroin, crack, meth, acid).
■Watched someone die
■Been to a funeral.
■Burned yourself.
■Ran a marathon.
■Cried yourself to sleep.
■Spent 200$ in one day.
■Flown on a plane.
■Cheated on someone.
■Been cheated on.
■Written a 10 page letter.
■Gone skiing.
■Been sailing.
■Lost someone you Loved.
■Shoplifted something.
■Been to jail.
■Dangerously close to being in jail.
■Skipped school.
■Had detention.
■Got in trouble for something you didn’t do.
■Stolen books from the library.
■Gone to a different country.
■Dropped out of school. (university)
■Been in a mental hospital.
■Watched all of the “Harry Potter” movies.
■Had a yard sale.
■Had a lemonade stand.
■Actually made money at the lemonade stand.
■Voted for someone on a reality TV show.
■Written poetry.
■Performed a play, poetry or music on a stage
■Read more than 20 books a year.
■Been to Africa.
■Been to Europe.
■Been to South America.
■Loved someone you shouldn’t have.
■Used a coloring book over age 12.
■Had surgery.
■Had stitches.
■Taken a taxi.
■Seen the Washington Monument.
■Had more than 5 IM’s/online conversations going at once.
■Overdosed.
■Had a drug or alcohol problem.
■Been in a fist fight.
■Suffered any form of abuse.
■Gone surfing in California.
■Had a pet hamster.
■Pet a wild animal.
■Used a credit card.
■Dyed your hair.
■Got a tattoo.
■Had something pierced.
■Got straight A’s.
■Been on the Honor Roll.
■Known someone with HIV or AIDS. (I probably have, but I didn’t know it…)
■Snuck out of the house.
■Swore at a teacher.
■Gone laser tagging.
■Been on the TV
■French braided.
■Skinny-dipped.
■Been in Love.
■Been on a train.
■Been to a symphony.
■Seen a ghost.
■Gone bungee-jumping.
■Been to Mexico.
■Crashed a car.
■Sky dived.
■Been kissed in the rain.
■Made an 11:11 wish.
■Drank alcohol.
■Prayed.
■Made a mistake.

Then I drew the bullet. Oh well. That isn’t automatically the kiss of death but the crowd was as yet ‘unmotivated’. I went the same route I did in the Finals last year, blasting out Angst to get the crowd excited. It wouldn’t help my scores but it’ll pick the room up for the poets that follow. In the end, it was only an exceptionally large time penalty by Ray that kept me from finishing last.

The show was strong. V getting the win was pretty awesome. She is pretty new and she needs to allow her confidence to catch up to her poetry and this will go a long way towards doing that. She could be a force at the semis this year.

Just Jamaal’s second piece was intense! I am so glad he snuck into the second round (.1 less would have sunk him) so we could see that. Big piece and it vaulted him from fifth to missing the win by .1!

Then there was the Youth team! I had the great pleasure of letting them know that VERSeFest wants to book them! Mark your calenders for March 1st! (Hey, mark them for Feb 28th to March 4th. The whole week is going to be amazing!)

Now we get a little break as it is three weeks until the next slam but before then we have Once Upon A Slam on Dec. 30th! Be there!

Check it out here.