Post Secret

Posted: March 11, 2011 in Uncategorized
Tags: ,

CONTEXT: Still trying to find those pieces to carry me through the semi-finals and finals. This poem, while it isn’t likely one I would use, came out of my fascination with a website called Post Secret. I explain it in the poem, but I really find it cathartic.

It is one less thing to feel alone about.

(Wow, that sounds maudlin…)

    Post Secret

Hey, what’s your secret?
Not your secret for a youthful glow
Or your grandmother’s
Chocolate chip cookie recipe.
No, what’s your REAL secret –
The one that sits in the pits
Of your psyche
Padlocked with a big iron key.
But I know you won’t tell me.
If you could or would
Then that isn’t the
Secret I am looking for
Hiding behind Obi-wan
Hand waving and a desperate
Desire to change the subject.
We all hide something
And whether it is something
Important in the
Grand scheme of things,
It sure seems that way to you.
That quirky little habit that you
Think would brand you as odd
Or worse.
Privacy doesn’t always mean secrecy
And secrecy doesn’t equal
Dishonesty,
Necessarily,
Though some secrets are
Worth lying for –
Some are worth dying for.
Because exposure feels
Like a fate worse
Than riding in that late hearse.
And it isn’t always the
One you would think.
I stood on stage and told about
Being sexually abused
But there are still some things
That are mine alone…
Or so I think.
You see there is this
Website that posts
Posted postcards
Sent without name
That share the shames
Of the secretive masses
Unloading burdens without
Exposing the demons to light.
I have never sent my dark folder in
But every week I am emboldened
As I click through and what
To my wondering eyes should appear
But all of my secrets
Spelled out loud and clear.
For I am that war bride
Sleeping with her soldier’s
Brother while he is in Iraq.
I am that mother who loves
One of her sons just a little less.
I am that high school teacher
Who needs some morning weed
Just to make it through the day.
I refuse to delete my
Dead mother’s phone messages
And I can’t stop loving
My ex-husband or wife.
I am looking for the courage
To end my life
Or any excuse not to.
People sharing what they need to
While still safely faceless,
Praying or faithless,
Looking for answers.
In our differences
We are one.
In the hidden crevices
So unique, no little peek
Allowed or it’ll be
Disavowed – makes us feel
So alone
But once we know that
We are united in our
Secrecy
Creeping in the dark
Shunning decency,
Or at least moral relativism
The we know the prison
Is of our own making.
So here I stand
In front of you all,
Exposed.
If I could say anything at all
And you wouldn’t know it was me –
What would I say?
Or better,
If it was you,
What would you say?
What’s YOUR secret?

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