The Duncameron 2: Star Trek Rap

Posted: November 23, 2012 in Uncategorized

CONTEXT: September 2011 / November 2012

Quite a wide range of dates.

After being pretty happy with my first stab at a Duncameron poem, Beverage Lids, I tackled the next one.

The thing is, I have no rap skills, so I had to go a different way. When I was trying to come up with something, I thought about Let’s Talk About Sex. It seemed so obvious that there would be a Let’s Talk About Trek version that I went searching… but nada.

I couldn’t possible believe that this was an original idea, but what the hell. I wrote it.

It was terrible. I spent most of the poem back-peddling and trying to explain that I am not really that much of a Star Trek fan. (Which I am not. Still way better than Dr. Who…)

It sat in my book. I really liked the chorus so I didn’t want to chuck it altogether, but the rest was awful. I went on to other things.

Earlier this month I decided to perform Beverage Lids. I was going to pair with something recent, but I ended up giving up my slam spot to somebody else. That gave me two more weeks. I looked in my book, remembered that I wanted to rework Star Trek Rap and wrote the new version in about 20 minutes. It went from being a bit of a downer to being a lot of fun.

Now when a geek event comes along, I can’t claim I don’t have anything.

    Duncameron 2: Star Trek Rap

You geeks today don’t know
How good you’ve got it,
Living in a SciFi world of
Instant computing and
Microprocessing and
Every flavour of Geekdom
Held up as icons of
Popular culture.
There was a time when
Young nerdniks had to
Watch whatever was
Offered to us to get our
Genre fix
So we had no choice other than
To talk about Star Trek.
So, in honour of that…

Let’s talk about Trek, baby
Let’s talk about TNG
Let’s talk about the starship
NCC1701D
Let’s talk about Trek.

A generation desperate for
Anything that will feed that craving.
We had no World of Warcraft or
Joss Whedon.
We had to watch the One Ring
Travelling to Mordor in the
Movies of our mind.
But throughout it all
We always had Star Trek.

Let’s talk about Trek, baby
Let’s talk about TNG
Let’s talk about the starship
NCC1701D
Let’s talk about Trek.

Ad we boldly went
Where now everyone has been before
We revelled in acting that was
Shatneresque by definition
Before becoming downright
Shakespearian
Dropping in bracing bon mots
Into our lexicon like,
‘Damn it, Capital Slam,
I’m a poet, not a singer!’
Dancing around Styrofoam boulders
And sub-budget special effects
Confident of only one thing –
It may be crap,
But at least it’s better than
Doctor Who

Let’s talk about Trek, baby
Let’s talk about TNG
Let’s talk about the starship
NCC1701D
Let’s talk about Trek.

As our hidden passions
Became public property
We could no longer hide
Social anxiety behind
Superheroes and
Monty Python quotes.
Geeks have been outed
And out excuses have been
Exhumed and expelled
Until niche crutches
Fall away and too many of us
Fall with them.

Let’s talk about Trek, baby
Let’s talk about TNG
Let’s talk about the starship
NCC1701D
Let’s talk about Trek.

So as nerd becomes mainstream
You have taken away
That what makes us unique,
The few, the proud, the geek,
Remember that we were here first,
Making us the ultimate hipsters
Because we were
Uncool before it was cool.
So raise your dice bags, friends
And shrug off the praise of the
Normalstocracy
And sing with me

Let’s talk about Trek, baby
Let’s talk about TNG
Let’s talk about the starship
NCC1701D
Let’s talk about Trek.

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