Good Weekend… Until Last Night

Posted: February 3, 2014 in Uncategorized

CapSlam was on Saturday, I considered slamming and considered not slamming and considered slamming again.

I set a goal for myself to write three poems this weekend… and I did. I wrote two on Saturday and… well, they aren’t very good. This was me putting my rhetoric where my mouth was… no such thing as writer’s block! Just fear of writing badly.

So I did.

Anyway, come Saturday night I signed up and then waffled. Dan Murray and Bassam came from out of town. DMP came back to town… and as we approached 7pm, he was on the verge of being bumped, if one more ‘priority list’ poet showed up. I decided that I would bump myself instead.

It didn’t happen, so suddenly I was slamming.

I had a new arrangement of a poem I wanted to try out… but the last time I times it, it went 3:06 so I decided to save it for the second round, when a time penalty wouldn’t bother me as much.

So I went with Blue, Black or Red for round one.

I was in a discussion about this pome recently. There was a question whether the poem was ‘legitimite’ since it isn’t about my actual experience. I don’t agree with that. I beleive it is okay to write about things that you haven’t experienced, as long as you don’t CLAIM to have experienced them. Listen to the poem. It is always ‘he’ and ‘she’, never ‘I’ or ‘me’.

It went quite well. The audience reacted in a very positive manner. I was in third by both Dan Murray and DMP KILLED it in the first round, so that was no slight.

So in the second round I do my new arrangement for 1968. It went even better, and I had been nervous about it, so that was nice. I finished third again, but only .1 behind Dan and Kay’la Fraser.

Overall I came second, despite coming third in each round. Dan Murray won, then me then Kay’la, Basaam and DMP.

BUT, I had a headache all night. I pushed it aside for the show but the time I got home, it was pounding. In the morning there was no headache, but then I had a sore throat.

I settled in for a semi-miserable day.

I actually wasn’t THAT sick, but it hit me kind hard, emotionally, for some reason. Ruthanne was away and I just went into a funk. By evening it was a full-on ‘depressive episode’ (which is a term I just made up on the spot).

Nothing was good. I wrote another poem during the day, and while it is better than what I wrote the previous day, it all felt like crap to me. I thought of some other ideas and just dismissed them, because “I won’t be able to make them good anyway.”

Then I couldn’t sleep, despite being exhausted. It didn’t go to full insomnia, but I didn’t get to sleep until 1, when I had to get up at 6.

Today seemed… better, I guess. I still feel out of sorts. Not depressed as much as a ‘depression hangover’ (another new term), I think.

I will be fine. It wasn’t that bad. I have had much worse.

Maybe I will go look at those poems again and see if I can salvage any of it.

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